HALF CUP: (FOR SAM ZIMMAN)
HOYTE AND GOLDMAN WERE BOTH FROM NEW YORK. GOLDMAN THE CITY AND HOYTE SCARSDALE. BUT THEY BOTH ENJOYED YANKEES BASEBALL AND HAD ENDED UP IN ARIZONA FOR THE AIR. WHEN HOYTE'S FATHER DIED AND LEFT HIM A HEFTY SUM OF MONEY HOYTE MOVED OUT THERE HOPING THE DRY AIR WOULD BE GOOD FOR HIS HEART CONDITION. REAL ESTATE IN BROOKLYN HAD GONE PRETTY HIGH UP AND SO GOLDMAN CASHED IN THE DELI AND MOVED OUT TO ARIZONA HOPING THE DRY DESERT AIR WOULD BE GOOD FOR HIS ASTHMA. THEY BOTH ENDED UP IN EARNSDALE--TWO YEARS APART. EARNSDALE WAS AN OLD RANCHER'S TRADING POST IN NORTHERN ARIZONA. THERE WERE A FEW ENORMOUS CATTLE RANCHES SOME MILES OUTSIDE AND A SEVERAL BEAUTIFUL LANDSCAPES. IT ATTRACTED WEALTHY TOURISTS INTERESTED IN THE RUGGEDNESS AN OLD RANCHERS POST IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PAINTED DESERT SEEMED TO SUGGEST. WHEN HOYTE MOVED OUT THERE HE DIDN'T EXPECT TO MEET MINDIE. BUT THINGS MOVED QUICKLY AND EVENTUALLY THEY DECIDED TO OPEN A CAFE THAT SERVED SANDWICHES AND ICE CREAM CALLED "COWBOY COFFEE." IT WAS A PROJECT THEY COULD WORK ON TOGETHER. AND MINDIE HAD A MIND FOR ALL THE BOOKS STUFF--KEEPING THINGS IN ORDER. HOYTE JUST WANTED A PLACE TO HANGOUT PUBLICLY. WHY NOT OPEN A CAFE? IT WOULD KEEP MINDIE BUSY AND GIVE HIM SOME KIND OF LOCAL INFLUENCE. HE HAD THE MONEY AND IT'S NOT LIKE THAT SORT OF THING WOULD GO UNDER. BESIDES--HE COULD OFFER WIRELESS INTERNET THERE. NO OTHER BUSINESS IN TOWN HAD THAT. NOT EVEN THE HOTELS. HE TOLD MINDIE ONE NIGHT OVER LOCAL WINE AND SALAD: "I'LL TELL YOU THIS--IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESS YOU GOTTA GIVE THE PUBLIC SOMETHING IT WANTS BUT DOESN'T HAVE. I MEAN--YEAH--THERE ARE NO CAFE'S HERE BUT PEOPLE CAN JUST MAKE THEIR OWN COFFEE. THEY CAN'T MAKE THEIR OWN WIRELESS INTERNET. AND WHAT DO PEOPLE NEED WHEN THEY USE THE INTERNET? COFFEE." MINDIE LOOKED AT HIM SALACIOUSLY AND THEY WANDERED TO BED.
HOYTE HAD BEEN RIGHT. THAT IS--HIS PREDICTION THAT WIRELESS INTERNET WOULD BE A SERIOUS DRAW FOR BUSINESS HAD BEEN CORRECT. IT SEEMED LIKE HE COULDN'T PURCHASE ENOUGH SERGE PROTECTORS TO KEEP ALL THE LAPTOPS RUNNING. AND ALL THE DAY TRADING AND EMAILING AND RESEARCH DID SEEM TO REQUIRE COFFEE. COWBOY COFFEE WAS DOING VERY WELL AND ON TOP OF THAT HOYTE HAD A TALL, BLOND, LOCAL BEAUTY. A REAL COWGIRL WHO RESPECTED THE INTEGRITY OF HIS BUSINESS SENSE. WHO MADE HIM FEEL SMART. HE CHUCKLED INTO THE MIRROR ONE MORNING WHILE SHAVING: "GOOD FOR YOUR HEART? HELL YEAH, BROTHER!" AND THEN LOOKED AT MINDIE STILL ASLEEP IN BED--ON HER SIDE WITH HER HANDS OVER HER HEAD. HER RUFFLED HAIR SEEMED TO SPEAK LOVELY THINGS TO HIM.
GOLDMAN MOVED WITH HIS WIFE EMILY. AFTER ERIC HAD GONE TO SCHOOL IT MADE NO SENSE TO STAY IN THE CITY. GOLDMAN TOLD EMILY ONE DAY: "I'M TELLING YOU. THIS AIR. I MEAN. THIS AIR. IT'S GARBAGE! I FEEL LIKE I'M BREATHING IN TOTAL GARBAGE EVERY TIME I SUCK SOME AIR IN. IT'S LIKE I'M INHALING A GODDAMMED DIAPER AND THREE TAMPONS EVERY TIME I BREATH!...USED TAMPONS!" EMILY LOOKED AT HIM, SHOOK HER HEAD AND CHANGED THE CHANNEL.
BUT SHE WAS GLAD TO GET OUT OF THE CITY. SURE SHE WOULD MISS ERIC BUT OUT IN THE COUNTRY SHE COULD RELAX. NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH ALL THE NEW PEOPLE LOOKING AT HER. AND SHE COULD START PAINTING LIKE SHE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO. AFTER ALL--IT WAS CALLED THE "PAINTED DESERT." THERE WOULD SOME MANY BEAUTIFUL THINGS TO SEE AND SHE WOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE PEOPLE FOR ONCE IN HER LIFE.
GOLDMAN TOLD EMILY: "WE CAN START A DELI OUT THERE. SAME BUSINESS AS ALWAYS JUST IN A NEW PLACE. YOU KNOW HOW MANY NEW YORK CITY DELIS THERE ARE IN NEW YORK CITY? HOW ABOUT ALL OF THEM! YOU KNOW HOW MANY NEW YORK CITY DELIS THERE ARE IN EARNSDALE? HOW ABOUT NONE! IT'LL BE A CINCH." SHE NODDED AND WIPED A CONDENSATION STAIN FROM THE COFFEE TABLE. HIS MOTHER'S COFFEE TABLE, BY THE WAY.
WHEN THE GOLDMAN'S ARRIVED IN EARNSDALE THEY WERE NERVOUS. AFTER BREAKING A PLATE EMILY SMELLED A STRANGE BURNING. CIGARETTES. SHE WALKED TO THE PORCH AND SAW GOLDMAN STIFLING A COUGHING FIT. "GOLDM--I MEAN--HAROLD! YOU DON'T SMOKE! YOU HAVEN'T SMOKED SINCE THE 80'S. WHAT ARE YOU DOING! YOUR ASTHMA! WHAT ABOUT ERIC! ERIC WITH A DEAD FATHER...YOU SHOULD REALLY BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF. AND ERIC. O BOY."
"WHAT! THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE DO HERE. THEY'RE COWBOYS. GOYEM COWBOYS ALL SMOKE CIGARETTES. IT'S RESEARCH. THAT'S ALL. IT'S JUST RESEARCH SO I CAN UNDERSTAND HOW THE LOCAL CLIENTELE YOU KNOW--TASTE THINGS."
"I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A NEW YORK DELI. A REAL NEW YORK DELI. REMEMBER--BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE ANY?"
"O THAT'S JUST A SHTICK. YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE A SHTICK TO DO WELL IN BUSINESS. BUT YOU HAVE TO GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT EVEN IF IT ISN'T TRUE TO YOUR SHTICK. BUT KEEP YOUR SHTICK UP."
ALL SHE COULD DO IS ASK "WHAT ABOUT ERIC?" ONCE MORE AND GO INSIDE TO KEEP UP WITH THE PLATES.
AND--AFTER THE AUTHENTIC NEW YORK DELI OPENED UP WITH SPECIAL, REGIONAL CONCESSIONS IT DID PRETTY WELL. APPARENTLY COWBOYS LOVED CORNED BEEF AND BLINTZES. A FEW OF THE NEW YORK BUSINESSMEN EVEN RECOGNIZED GOLDMAN FROM HIS DELI IN NEW YORK. HE LIKED TO TAKE PICTURES OF HIMSELF WITH THEM AND THEN ADD THE PRINTS TO THE WALL. IT SEEMED TO AUTHENTICATE SOME PART OF THE NEW YORKNESS OF THE PLACE.
THE DELI WAS OPENED ACROSS THE STREET FROM COWBOY COFFEE. AND EARNSDALE WAS A SMALL TOWN ANYWAY. SO HOYTE AND GOLDMAN GOT TO KNOW EACH OTHER PRETTY WELL, PRETTY QUICKLY. GOLDMAN WOULD BRING EMILY OVER TO HOYTE'S HOUSE OUTSIDE OF EARNSDALE TO WATCH YANKEES GAMES ON HIS BIG TV AND TALK ABOUT NEW YORK THINGS. MINDIE AND EMILY GOT ALONG WELL. THEY SEEMED TO POSSESS A LIMITLESS INTEREST IN COMPARISONS BETWEEN NEW YORK AND ARIZONA: "WELL--ME--I STARTED RIDING HORSES LATE. I MEAN PROBABLY AROUND 9. I WAS A SKINNY LITTLE OLD GIRL THOUGH."
"9? JEEZ. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO RIDE A HORSE BUT I'VE NEVER HAD THE CHANCE. YOU KNOW. WE DONT HAVE TOO MANY HORSES IN NEW YORK. A LOT OF SUBWAYS THOUGH."
"YOU DON'T SAY! I'VE NEVER BEEN ON A TRAIN. O BUT I'D LOVE TO. AND ITS SO CONVENIENT. WHY YOU HARDLY HAVE TO DRIVE ANYWHERE. YOU JUST TAKE THIS THING THAT'S GONNA COME ANYWAY TO WHEREVER YOU PLEASE. THAT SOUNDS ALL RIGHT TO ME. AND I BET YOU MEET ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE." CROSSING HER LEGS: "IS THAT WHERE YOU MET YOUR HUSBAND? THE TRAIN?"
"O JEEZ. YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU MEET ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE....O NO NO--I'VE KNOWN HAROLD FOR YEARS."
"SAY--YOU WANT ME TO TAKE YOU RIDING SOME TIME, EMILY? WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?"
"O DEAR! I'M NOT TOO OLD?" SHE ADJUSTED HER HAIR.
"GOODNESS NO! MY GRANDDAD RODE UNTIL THE HORSES SAW BETTER THAN HE DID. YOU'LL BE GREAT." SO THEY WENT RIDING AND EMILY DID DO ALL RIGHT. SHE LOVED IT. SHE AND MINDIE STARTED RIDING TOGETHER ALL THE TIME. SOMETIMES TWICE IN ONE WEEK.
ONE NIGHT WHEN THEY CAME BACK FROM A YANKEE'S SHUT OUT OF THE ORIELS GOLDMAN TALKED TO EMILY FROM THE MIRROR IN THE BATHROOM. HE SAID: "YOU KNOW WHAT? I LIKE THE HOYTE'S."
EMILY HADN'T HEARD GOLDMAN SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT ABOUT ANYONE OTHER THAN THE NEW GIRLS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD IN YEARS. AND SHE AGREED WITH HIM.
THE DELI SEEMED TO GET THE LEAST BUSINESS ON THE FEW DAYS A YEAR WHEN IT RAINED. PEOPLE JUST DIDN'T SEEM INTERESTED IN IT'S CHARM. ALMOST LIKE THEY AVOIDED IT. ONE SUCH DAY A TEENAGER SHOWED UP IN THE DELI WEARING A DRENCHED RAINCOAT AND BOSTON RED SOX CAP--BLOND HAIR BUSTING OUT THE SIDES OF THE HAT. HE TOLD GOLDMAN: "I'LL HAVE A REUBEN AND SOME COFFEE."
"REUBEN OK. WE DON'T SERVE COFFEE. ACROSS THE STREET FOR THAT. COWBOY COFFEE."
"WHAT? WHAT THE HELL KIND OF A DELI DOESN'T HAVE COFFEE?"
"HEY--HEY--YOU GIVIN ME SOME TROUBLE? THIS KIND. A. CROSS. THE. STREET. FOR. COFF. EE." AND THEN MUMBLED WITH HIS BACK TURNED, HANDS OVER THE SANDWICH: "BOSTON BRAT."
"WELL I THINK IT'S PRETTY DAMNED STUPID. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF DELI DOESN'T OFFER COFFEE? DOES ANYONE STAY HERE? ORDER MORE THAN ONE ITEM? YOUR DESSERTS LOOK PRETTY OLD."
GOLDMAN TURNED AROUND SHARPLY: "HEY! YOU GIVIN ME THAT TROUBLE? DON'T GIVE ME THAT TROUBLE! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THAT." AND HE THREW THE SANDWICH--WRAPPED TO GO--ON THE COUNTER, COUNTED THE BOY'S MONEY LOUDLY AND THEN SAID: "OK. THANK YOU FOR YOUR BUSINESS. COME BACK SOME TIME." AND SHOOED HIM OUT. THEN HE LOOKED AT THE RAIN FOR AWHILE. COMING DOWN LIKE A REGULAR SHEET AND THEN BACK AT THE DELI. EMPTY. DESERTED. HE SEEMED TO THINK LOUDLY: "WHY THE HELL DO WE HAVE ALL THESE SEATS IF NO ONE STAYS!" AND IT WAS TRUE. THE DESSERTS WERE PRETTY OLD. SOME WE WERE WEEKS OLD EVEN. HE GOT TO THINKING. THE ONLY REASON HE DIDN'T OFFER COFFEE ORIGINALLY WAS BECAUSE THOSE MACHINES ARE EXPENSIVE. AND IT DIDN'T MAKE SENSE--WHY SERVE COFFEE WITH A CAFE JUST ACROSS THE STREET? AND THEN IT BECAME OUT OF LOYALTY TOWARD THE HOYTES. COFFEE WAS HOYTE'S THING. HE'S FRIEND. HIS FRIEND WITH THE CAFE. BUT HE GOT TO THINKING THAT HOYTE'S THING WAS REALLY THE INTERNET. THE WIRELESS INTERNET. THE COFFEE WAS JUST LIKE A FRONT FOR THE INTERNET. IT WASN'T LIKE HE TOOK PRIDE IN THE COFFEE, REALLY. HE ALWAYS TOOK PRIDE IN THE WIRELESS INTERNET. THERE WAS MORE SIGNAGE ABOUT THE WIRELESS INTERNET IN THE PLACE THAN THE DAMN COFFEE. THERE WAS EVEN A BIG LED LIGHT DISPLAY ADVERTISING IT.
GOLDMAN WAS THINKING THAT HE COULD MAYBE BOLSTER HIS BUSINESS WITH THE COFFEE. EVENTUALLY THE COFFEE MIGHT MAKE IT SO HE AND EMILY COULD MOVE OUT FROM ABOVE THE DELI AND GET A HOUSE CLOSE TO THE HOYTES. MAYBE EVEN GET EMILY A HORSE SO SHE COULD RIDE OVER TO MINDIE INSTEAD OF ALWAYS HAVING TO BORROW ONE OF HER HORSES. IT WOULDN'T TAKE ANY BUSINESS AWAY FROM HOYTE. IT WOULD JUST BOLSTER HIS OWN BUSINESS. THEY WOULD JUST STAY FOR LONGER AND BUY MORE FROM HIM. NOT LESS FROM HOYTE.
SO HE MADE HOYTE A CORNED BEEF SPECIAL WITH SWISS AND EXTRA LEAN CORNED BEEF LIKE HOYTE NEEDED FOR HIS HEART. REALLY SCULPTED THE SANDWICH. CUT THE CORNED BEEF AS THIN AS POSSIBLE AND WRAPPED IT IN FOUR LAYERS OF WAX PAPER. THEN HE GOT A DR. BROWN'S CREAM SODA AND SOME OLD BAY CHIPS AND WALKED ACROSS THE STREET TO COWBOY COFFEE.
SOMEONE HAD TURNED ON STICKY FINGERS AT A LOW VOLUME AND THE HUM OF BUSINESS TALK SLID AROUND THE TAPPING OF KEYS. SOMETHING ABOUT THE PLACE MADE GOLDMAN UNCOMFORTABLE. HE KNEW MOST OF THE PEOPLE BUT PRETENDED NOT TO AND MADE A LINE STRAIGHT FOR HOYTE'S OFFICE.
HOYTE WAS TYPING AT HIS COMPUTER WHEN GOLDMAN STEPPED IN.
"GOLDMAN BUDDY! GREAT TO SEE YOU BROTHER. HOW ARE YOU?"
"YEAH. YOU KNOW, LIKEWISE. AHH--GOOD. I BROUGHT YOU SOME FOOD."
"O MAN. STARVED. I AM JUST STARVED. COME ON SIT DOWN. SIT DOWN." GOLDMAN HANDED HIM THE BROWN BAG. HE PEERED INSIDE: "THIS. THIS LOOKS REALLY SPECIAL."
"YEAH. HEY I DON'T WANT TO BOTHER YOU. YOU WERE TYPING. I WAS WONDERING IF I MIGHT BORROW A COMPUTER AND USE THE INTERNET HERE. YOU KNOW. USE THE INTERNET. DRINK SOME COFFEE."
"YEAH--YEAH. SURE THING, GOLDMAN. MY INTERNET IS YOUR INTERNET. JUST TELL JANE TO GIVE YOU YOUR FAVORITE. HERE TAKE THIS." HOYTE REACHED INTO HIS DESK HOLDING A NAPKIN IN THE OTHER HAND AND GAVE GOLDMAN A WHITE MACBOOK. "I'M TELLING YOU BROTHER. YOU'VE GOTTA GET A COMPUTER. I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO ALL THIS WITHOUT ONE." HIS GOATEE BOBBED WITH A LITTLE SLAW.
GOLDMAN CHUCKLED. "HAH. WELL--ALWAYS HAVE, YOU KNOW."
HE ORDERED A BLACK COFFEE FROM WHO HE FIGURED TO BE JANE AND WAITED FOR A FREE TABLE. SITTING DOWN HE OPENED THE LAPTOP THEN HE CLICKED ON THE BLUE E AND WENT TO "www.google.com" AND TYPED "coffee machine" AND PURCHASED THE FIRST ONE WITHOUT EVEN CHECKING THE PRICE.
WHEN IT ARRIVED HE LOOKED AT THE PARCEL FOR A LONG TIME. EMILY WALKED INTO THE OFFICE IN THE BACK OF THE DELI.
"WHAT'S IN THAT BOX THAT'S SO BIG?"
"IT'S A COFFEE MACHINE." SHE JUST LOOKED AT HIM AND THEN WALKED AWAY DOWN THE KITCHEN SHAKING HER HEAD AND MUMBLING SOMETHING ABOUT ERIC.
AT FIRST HE DIDN'T TELL ANYBODY THAT HE HAD A COFFEE MACHINE. AND HE DIDN'T DISPLAY IT EITHER. HE WOULD WAIT UNTIL SOMEONE ASKED HIM FOR COFFEE. IT'S NOT LIKE HE WAS GOING TO UPDATE THE MENU. THAT WOULD BE TRULY RIDICULOUS. AND EXPENSIVE. JUST WAIT UNTIL SOMEONE ASKS. IT WAS KIND OF A RELIEF THE WHOLE DAY THAT NO ONE INQUIRED ABOUT COFFEE AND THEN AT 7:30 A COUPLE AROUND THE GOLDMAN'S AGE CAME INTO THE DELI LAUGHING.
THE MAN SAID WITH A THICK NEW ENGLAND ACCENT: "AY I'LL HAVE A CAFFY AND AHH--A PIECE OF THIS CAKE. PLEASE." HE LOOKED AT HIS WIFE. "AY AHH--BETTAH MAKE THAT TWO."
GOLDMAN CUT THE PIECES OF APPLE CAKE VERY SLOWLY AND THEN POURED THE COFFEE VERY SLOWLY AND WALKED IT OVER TO THE TABLE BY THE WINDOW WHERE THE NEW ENGLANDER'S SAT. HE WASN'T SHAKING THOUGH HE FELT LIKE HE COULD START DOING SO AT ANY MOMENT.
"CAKE. AND COFFEE. ENJOY."
HE WALKED BEHIND THE COUNTER AND PRETENDED TO BUSY HIS HANDS WHILE THE COUPLE ATE AND DRANK BUT REALLY HE JUST WATCHED THEM. THEY WERE GIGGLING. AND WHEN THEY SIGHED THERE WAS HOPE IN IT. THEY SEEMED ENERGETIC AND READY. THEN THE MAN LOOKED AT GOLDMAN WHO QUICKLY ADVERTED HIS EYES. "AY--YOU AHH--GIVE REFILLS ON THE JOE?"
GOLDMAN SAID "YES! YES WE DO" WITHOUT EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT. AND THEN WALKED OVER AND REFILLED THEIR COFFEE WITHOUT EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT AND THEN WALKED OVER BEHIND THE COUNTER AGAIN AND STARTED THINKING ABOUT IT. HE THOUGHT: "WELL--WHY NOT? I DON'T MAKE ANYTHING ON THE COFFEE ANYWAY. IT'S THE DESSERTS. THEY'LL STAY LONGER AND BUY MORE STUFF. WHY NOT?" THEN THE WOMAN CALLED TO GOLDMAN: "DO YOU THINK I COULD GET A SLICE OF THAT CAKE TO GO, DEEH?"
GOLDMAN FELL ASLEEP THAT NIGHT HAPPILY. HIS PLAN SEEMED TO WORK. THE COFFEE WAS OK. THE BUSINESS WAS OK.
THINGS WENT ALONG LIKE THAT FOR A WHILE. GOLDMAN WAS DOING FINE. PEOPLE STARTED ENJOYING HIS DESSERTS. THEY WERE SO POPULAR THAT HE HAD TO GET EMILY INVOLVED. SHE BEGAN TO BAKE EXTRA DESSERTS FOR WHEN THEY RAN OUT BEFORE THEIR BAKERY COULD RESTOCK THEM. AND THOSE WERE SO POPULAR THAT EVENTUALLY THEY STOPPED BUYING THEIR DESSERTS FROM THE BAKERY ALL TOGETHER AND EMILY STARTED MAKING ALL OF THEM. THEY WERE DAMN FINE. PEOPLE WERE STAYING IN THE DELI ALL NIGHT. SOMETIMES GOLDMAN HAD TO STAY OPEN UNTIL 12 O'CLOCK.
AND THEN APRIL HAPPENED. AND THE YANKEES CAME UP FROM FLORIDA AND STARTED TO REAR THEIR UGLY HEADS. GOLDMAN GOT A CALL FROM HOYTE WHO WAS ACROSS THE STREET: "HEY GOLDMAN, HOW ARE YOU BROTHER?"
"O--I'M FINE. HOW'S THE COFFEE?" HE INSTANTLY REGRETTED ASKING THAT.
"THE COFFEE? O YOU KNOW. THE COFFEE'S FINE. HEY YOU KNOW WHAT'S OVER RIGHT? AND WHAT'S JUST ABOUT TO BEGIN? WHY DON'T YOU AND EMILY COME OVER TO THE HOUSE TO WATCH THE OPENER? IT'S AGAINST THE SOX--THOSE BASTARDS. SHOULD BE GOOD."
"O--YEAH. YEAH. THE OPENER. YEAH. YEAH. WE'LL--AHH. YES. YEAH. WE WILL BE OVER FOR THAT."
"OK. YEAH. OK THAT SOUNDS GOOD. THURSDAY?"
"THURSDAY. YEAH."
"ALL RIGHT. SEE YOU THEN! TAKE CARE."
TWO CUSTOMERS CAME IN AND GOLDMAN KNEW WHAT THEY WANTED RIGHT AWAY. HE'D SEEN THEM A FEW TIMES. THE APPLE CAKE AND THE COFFEE.
GOLDMAN AND EMILY DROVE OUT THE HOYTE'S ON THURSDAY. EMILY TALKED THE WHOLE RIDE ABOUT BAKER'S GEOMETRY AND HOW SHOULD COULD DO IT IN HER HEAD NOW. GOLDMAN DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANT BUT HE DIDN'T ASK HER ABOUT IT. THE WHOLE TIME HE WAS THINKING: "O GOD. WHY DID YOU WEAR A TIE? THIS THING IS SO TIGHT IT'S MAKING ME SWEAT DAMMIT. O BROTHER."
THEY ARRIVED AT THE THREE STORY HOUSE WITH THE HILL IN THE YARD AND THREE CARS AND GOT OUT WITH THE WINE. GOLDMAN RANG THE BELL AND ADJUSTED HIS TIE. HOYTE OPENED THE DOOR WEARING A GRAND CANYON T-SHIRT AND AN ADJUSTABLE YANKEE'S HAT. "GOLDMAN! EMILY! IT'S BEEN AGES. COME IN."
FROM THE KITCHEN MINDIE CALLED: "IS THAT THE GOLDMAN'S! O EMILY, DEAR, COME HERE. IT'S BEEN AGES." EMILY PASSED THE BOTTLE TO GOLDMAN AND SCOOTED SILENTLY TOWARD THE KITCHEN. HOYTE CLOSED THE DOOR AND ASKED IN A WHISPER, CRANING HIS NECK: "HEY GOLDMAN. WHAT'S WITH THE TIE?"
THEY WATCHED THE GAME ON THE BIG TV SITTING ON THE DARK BLUE COUCH THAT SEEMED TO SWALLOW THEM. IT'S HUNGER MADE GOLDMAN'S TIE SEEM EVEN MORE RIDICULOUS. AFTER THE YANKEE'S LOST THEY SAT DOWN TO DINNER. BEEFSTEAKS WITH SCALLOPED POTATOES AND SALAD. LOCAL RED WINE. MINDIE ASKED ACROSS THE TABLE: "SO EMILY. WE HAVEN'T BEEN RIDING IN SO LONG. WHY IS THAT? YOU HAVEN'T GOT A NEW PARTNER HAVE YOU? I MIGHT GET JEALOUS." IT WASN'T STRICTLY A JOKE.
"O. JEEZ. WELL IVE BEEN SO BUSY AT THE DELI. YOU KNOW ALL THE DESSERTS AND EVERYTHING. IT'S REALLY BEEN TAKING UP MY TIME." GOLDMAN NEARLY HURLED HIS BODY ACROSS THE TABLE, OUT THE WINDOW, OVER THE HILLS AND INTO THE COLORADO. BUT REALLY HE JUST SAT THERE WITH THE TIE.
"DESSERTS?" MINDIE ASKED. "WELL I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE MAKING DESSERTS FOR THE DELI. THAT SOUNDS GREAT! I'D LOVE TO TRY THEM. I BET THEIR JUST GREAT."
HOYTE SPOKE, EXTENDING HIS HAND FOR MINDIE'S: "I WOULD LOVE TO TRY THEM TOO. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE MAKING DESSERTS EITHER. WE'LL STOP BY THE DELI TOMORROW AND TRY THEM. TOGETHER." AND HIS GOATEE DID THE SAME SMILE.
THAT NIGHT GOLDMAN COULDN'T SLEEP. HE JUST TOSSED AND TURNED. EMILY ROLLED OVER: "HAROLD. WHAT'S WRONG? WHY CAN'T YOU SLEEP?"
"IT'S THOSE DAMMED--RED SOX. I CAN'T BELIEVE WE LOST TODAY!" THERE WAS VIOLENCE IN HIS VOICE.
"HAROLD HAROLD, DARLING. CALM DOWN. THERE'S A HUNDRED SIXTY MORE GAMES. GO TO BED, DEAR."
BUT HE COULDN'T SLEEP. HE WAS DOG TIRED THE NEXT DAY AT THE DELI. BUT HE COULDN'T GET HIMSELF TO DRINK THE COFFEE EITHER. HE MUST HAVE BROKE 5 DISHES AND BURNT TWO BATCHES OF FRIES BY 3 O'CLOCK.
3 O'CLOCK, DEAD TIME. NO ONE EVER IN THE DELI THEN. BUT THE DOOR CHIMED AND THERE WAS HOYTE AND MINDIE, HAND IN HAND, SMILING.
"HEY THERE GOLDMAN. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?"
"O--O--YOU KNOW. WELL...I AM VERY WELL."
"WHERE'S EMILY?"
EMILY CALLED FROM THE KITCHEN, WHERE THE OVENS WERE: "IS THAT THE HOYTES? MINDIE COME ON BACK OVER HERE. I WANT TO SHOW YOU THIS." MINDIE GAVE THEM A KNOWING SMILE AND THEN WALKED TO THE KITCHEN.
"SO--EMILY. QUITE THE BAKER?"
"AHH--WELL--YOU KNOW. SHE LIKES IT. IT WAS HER IDEA. YOU KNOW. SOMETHING TO DO DURING THE DAYS AND WHATNOT. YOU KNOW."
"YEAH--WELL--I'M EXCITED NONETHELESS. HEY GOLDMAN--I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU." GOLDMAN FELT ALL TIGHT INSIDE.
"YES?'
"HEY--ARE YOU DOING ALL RIGHT. YOU SEEM. I DON'T KNOW. TENSE. EVEN FOR YOU."
"O--WELL--YOU KNOW THE YANKS AREN'T HELPING ANY."
"RIGHT. HM. WELL. YOU KNOW--JUST LET ME KNOW IF I CAN HELP."
"LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE!" MINDIE CALLED OUT, HELPING EMILY CARRY A LARGE PLATE OF CINNAMON RAISIN MANDELBREAD. HOYTE SMILED AND GOLDMAN TURNED AROUND AND THEN HEARD THE DOOR CHIME OPEN. HE TURNED TO SEE TWO NEW ENGLANDERS COMING INTO THE DELI WITH EXPECTANT FEATURES. HE SAID "O NO" OUT LOUD AND FELT HIS THROAT SEIZE UP AND THEN A PRESSURE IN THE TOP OF HIS SKULL AND THEN SOMETHING LIKE A BLACK LIGHT AND THEN HEARD A CRASH AND TOTAL BLACK.
EMILY WAS YELLING. THE NEW ENGLAND MAN WAS STANDING OVER GOLDMAN: "ALL RIGHT STAND BACK. IT'S HIS HAHT--I KNOW WHAT I'M DOIN EHR." AND LOWERED HIS FACE, PINCHING GOLDMAN'S NOSE, PRESSING HIS MOUTH ON GOLDMAN'S MOUTH, BREATHING IN VERY HARD. GOLDMAN'S EYE'S BULGED AND HE GRABBED AT HIS THROAT.
HOYTE GRABBED THE MAN'S SHOULDERS. "IT'S NOT HIS HEART, YOU IDIOT! IT'S HIS ASTHMA. EMILY--WHERE'S HIS INHALER!"
"O JEEZ! I DON'T KNOW. HE NEVER KEEPS IT!"
"DO YOU HAVE ANY DRINKS WITH A LOT OF CAFFEINE. REDBULL? TEA? COFFEE?"
"O! YES! WE HAVE COFFEE! I'LL GET THE COFFEE! O NO!" SHE RAN TO WHERE THE COFFEE MACHINE WAS HIDDEN BENEATH THE COUNTER AND GRABBED THE WHOLE POT. SHE RAN WITH IT, SPILLING IT--SCALDING AND BLACK ALL OVER THE FLOOR. THEN CROUCHED DOWN AND WAS ABOUT TO SIMPLY THROW IT ON GOLDMAN'S FACE WHEN MINDIE GRABBED HER SHOULDER'S AND PRESENTED A BOWL OF ICE.
"HERE. LET ME POUR IT IN HERE." MINDIE GRABBED THE POT AND POURED THE REST INTO THE BOWL AND HELD IT TO GOLDMAN'S MOUTH. "DRINK THIS. SLOWLY. THE CAFFEINE WILL RELAX YOUR LUNGS." HE TOOK BIG GULPS THOUGH. IT RAINED DOWN HIS WHITE APRON LIKE MOTOR OIL. AND EVENTUALLY HE COULD BREATHE AGAIN.
GOLDMAN LAY ON THE FLOOR WITH HIS LEGS AND ARMS SPLAYED OUT, HEAD ON THE GROUND LOOKING AT THE CEILING FAN WAVE AT HIM. "HERE" MINDIE SAID "BEND YOUR KNEES VERTICALLY. UPWARD. IT'LL HELP YOU BREATHE SOME." AND HE DID IT. AND IT DID.
"HOYTE." HE MUMBLED. "HOYTE. I'M SORRY."
HOYTE BENT DOWN QUICKLY ON A KNEE. "WHAT'S THAT BROTHER?"
"I SAID, I SAID: 'HOYTE. I'M SORRY.' THE COFFEE. I NEVER SHOULD HAVE WITH THE COFFEE."
"GOLDMAN. YOU NEEDED THE COFFEE. YOU'D BE DEAD OTHERWISE. JUST BREATHE. YOU'RE OKAY NOW."
"NO--HOYTE. YOU DON'T GET IT. THE COFFEE. I SELL COFFEE. I'M SORRY."
"WELL--WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU OWN A DELI. OF COURSE YOU SELL COFFEE. WHO THE HELL EVER HEARD OF A DELI THAT DOESN'T SELL COFFEE?"
BUT GOLDMAN HAD PASSED OUT WITH THE COFFEE MESS ALL AROUND HIM. THE WEIGHT WAS GONE AND THE DESERT AIR DRY.
HOYTE HAD BEEN RIGHT. THAT IS--HIS PREDICTION THAT WIRELESS INTERNET WOULD BE A SERIOUS DRAW FOR BUSINESS HAD BEEN CORRECT. IT SEEMED LIKE HE COULDN'T PURCHASE ENOUGH SERGE PROTECTORS TO KEEP ALL THE LAPTOPS RUNNING. AND ALL THE DAY TRADING AND EMAILING AND RESEARCH DID SEEM TO REQUIRE COFFEE. COWBOY COFFEE WAS DOING VERY WELL AND ON TOP OF THAT HOYTE HAD A TALL, BLOND, LOCAL BEAUTY. A REAL COWGIRL WHO RESPECTED THE INTEGRITY OF HIS BUSINESS SENSE. WHO MADE HIM FEEL SMART. HE CHUCKLED INTO THE MIRROR ONE MORNING WHILE SHAVING: "GOOD FOR YOUR HEART? HELL YEAH, BROTHER!" AND THEN LOOKED AT MINDIE STILL ASLEEP IN BED--ON HER SIDE WITH HER HANDS OVER HER HEAD. HER RUFFLED HAIR SEEMED TO SPEAK LOVELY THINGS TO HIM.
GOLDMAN MOVED WITH HIS WIFE EMILY. AFTER ERIC HAD GONE TO SCHOOL IT MADE NO SENSE TO STAY IN THE CITY. GOLDMAN TOLD EMILY ONE DAY: "I'M TELLING YOU. THIS AIR. I MEAN. THIS AIR. IT'S GARBAGE! I FEEL LIKE I'M BREATHING IN TOTAL GARBAGE EVERY TIME I SUCK SOME AIR IN. IT'S LIKE I'M INHALING A GODDAMMED DIAPER AND THREE TAMPONS EVERY TIME I BREATH!...USED TAMPONS!" EMILY LOOKED AT HIM, SHOOK HER HEAD AND CHANGED THE CHANNEL.
BUT SHE WAS GLAD TO GET OUT OF THE CITY. SURE SHE WOULD MISS ERIC BUT OUT IN THE COUNTRY SHE COULD RELAX. NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH ALL THE NEW PEOPLE LOOKING AT HER. AND SHE COULD START PAINTING LIKE SHE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO. AFTER ALL--IT WAS CALLED THE "PAINTED DESERT." THERE WOULD SOME MANY BEAUTIFUL THINGS TO SEE AND SHE WOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE PEOPLE FOR ONCE IN HER LIFE.
GOLDMAN TOLD EMILY: "WE CAN START A DELI OUT THERE. SAME BUSINESS AS ALWAYS JUST IN A NEW PLACE. YOU KNOW HOW MANY NEW YORK CITY DELIS THERE ARE IN NEW YORK CITY? HOW ABOUT ALL OF THEM! YOU KNOW HOW MANY NEW YORK CITY DELIS THERE ARE IN EARNSDALE? HOW ABOUT NONE! IT'LL BE A CINCH." SHE NODDED AND WIPED A CONDENSATION STAIN FROM THE COFFEE TABLE. HIS MOTHER'S COFFEE TABLE, BY THE WAY.
WHEN THE GOLDMAN'S ARRIVED IN EARNSDALE THEY WERE NERVOUS. AFTER BREAKING A PLATE EMILY SMELLED A STRANGE BURNING. CIGARETTES. SHE WALKED TO THE PORCH AND SAW GOLDMAN STIFLING A COUGHING FIT. "GOLDM--I MEAN--HAROLD! YOU DON'T SMOKE! YOU HAVEN'T SMOKED SINCE THE 80'S. WHAT ARE YOU DOING! YOUR ASTHMA! WHAT ABOUT ERIC! ERIC WITH A DEAD FATHER...YOU SHOULD REALLY BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF. AND ERIC. O BOY."
"WHAT! THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE DO HERE. THEY'RE COWBOYS. GOYEM COWBOYS ALL SMOKE CIGARETTES. IT'S RESEARCH. THAT'S ALL. IT'S JUST RESEARCH SO I CAN UNDERSTAND HOW THE LOCAL CLIENTELE YOU KNOW--TASTE THINGS."
"I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A NEW YORK DELI. A REAL NEW YORK DELI. REMEMBER--BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE ANY?"
"O THAT'S JUST A SHTICK. YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE A SHTICK TO DO WELL IN BUSINESS. BUT YOU HAVE TO GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT EVEN IF IT ISN'T TRUE TO YOUR SHTICK. BUT KEEP YOUR SHTICK UP."
ALL SHE COULD DO IS ASK "WHAT ABOUT ERIC?" ONCE MORE AND GO INSIDE TO KEEP UP WITH THE PLATES.
AND--AFTER THE AUTHENTIC NEW YORK DELI OPENED UP WITH SPECIAL, REGIONAL CONCESSIONS IT DID PRETTY WELL. APPARENTLY COWBOYS LOVED CORNED BEEF AND BLINTZES. A FEW OF THE NEW YORK BUSINESSMEN EVEN RECOGNIZED GOLDMAN FROM HIS DELI IN NEW YORK. HE LIKED TO TAKE PICTURES OF HIMSELF WITH THEM AND THEN ADD THE PRINTS TO THE WALL. IT SEEMED TO AUTHENTICATE SOME PART OF THE NEW YORKNESS OF THE PLACE.
THE DELI WAS OPENED ACROSS THE STREET FROM COWBOY COFFEE. AND EARNSDALE WAS A SMALL TOWN ANYWAY. SO HOYTE AND GOLDMAN GOT TO KNOW EACH OTHER PRETTY WELL, PRETTY QUICKLY. GOLDMAN WOULD BRING EMILY OVER TO HOYTE'S HOUSE OUTSIDE OF EARNSDALE TO WATCH YANKEES GAMES ON HIS BIG TV AND TALK ABOUT NEW YORK THINGS. MINDIE AND EMILY GOT ALONG WELL. THEY SEEMED TO POSSESS A LIMITLESS INTEREST IN COMPARISONS BETWEEN NEW YORK AND ARIZONA: "WELL--ME--I STARTED RIDING HORSES LATE. I MEAN PROBABLY AROUND 9. I WAS A SKINNY LITTLE OLD GIRL THOUGH."
"9? JEEZ. I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO RIDE A HORSE BUT I'VE NEVER HAD THE CHANCE. YOU KNOW. WE DONT HAVE TOO MANY HORSES IN NEW YORK. A LOT OF SUBWAYS THOUGH."
"YOU DON'T SAY! I'VE NEVER BEEN ON A TRAIN. O BUT I'D LOVE TO. AND ITS SO CONVENIENT. WHY YOU HARDLY HAVE TO DRIVE ANYWHERE. YOU JUST TAKE THIS THING THAT'S GONNA COME ANYWAY TO WHEREVER YOU PLEASE. THAT SOUNDS ALL RIGHT TO ME. AND I BET YOU MEET ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE." CROSSING HER LEGS: "IS THAT WHERE YOU MET YOUR HUSBAND? THE TRAIN?"
"O JEEZ. YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU MEET ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE....O NO NO--I'VE KNOWN HAROLD FOR YEARS."
"SAY--YOU WANT ME TO TAKE YOU RIDING SOME TIME, EMILY? WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?"
"O DEAR! I'M NOT TOO OLD?" SHE ADJUSTED HER HAIR.
"GOODNESS NO! MY GRANDDAD RODE UNTIL THE HORSES SAW BETTER THAN HE DID. YOU'LL BE GREAT." SO THEY WENT RIDING AND EMILY DID DO ALL RIGHT. SHE LOVED IT. SHE AND MINDIE STARTED RIDING TOGETHER ALL THE TIME. SOMETIMES TWICE IN ONE WEEK.
ONE NIGHT WHEN THEY CAME BACK FROM A YANKEE'S SHUT OUT OF THE ORIELS GOLDMAN TALKED TO EMILY FROM THE MIRROR IN THE BATHROOM. HE SAID: "YOU KNOW WHAT? I LIKE THE HOYTE'S."
EMILY HADN'T HEARD GOLDMAN SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT ABOUT ANYONE OTHER THAN THE NEW GIRLS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD IN YEARS. AND SHE AGREED WITH HIM.
THE DELI SEEMED TO GET THE LEAST BUSINESS ON THE FEW DAYS A YEAR WHEN IT RAINED. PEOPLE JUST DIDN'T SEEM INTERESTED IN IT'S CHARM. ALMOST LIKE THEY AVOIDED IT. ONE SUCH DAY A TEENAGER SHOWED UP IN THE DELI WEARING A DRENCHED RAINCOAT AND BOSTON RED SOX CAP--BLOND HAIR BUSTING OUT THE SIDES OF THE HAT. HE TOLD GOLDMAN: "I'LL HAVE A REUBEN AND SOME COFFEE."
"REUBEN OK. WE DON'T SERVE COFFEE. ACROSS THE STREET FOR THAT. COWBOY COFFEE."
"WHAT? WHAT THE HELL KIND OF A DELI DOESN'T HAVE COFFEE?"
"HEY--HEY--YOU GIVIN ME SOME TROUBLE? THIS KIND. A. CROSS. THE. STREET. FOR. COFF. EE." AND THEN MUMBLED WITH HIS BACK TURNED, HANDS OVER THE SANDWICH: "BOSTON BRAT."
"WELL I THINK IT'S PRETTY DAMNED STUPID. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF DELI DOESN'T OFFER COFFEE? DOES ANYONE STAY HERE? ORDER MORE THAN ONE ITEM? YOUR DESSERTS LOOK PRETTY OLD."
GOLDMAN TURNED AROUND SHARPLY: "HEY! YOU GIVIN ME THAT TROUBLE? DON'T GIVE ME THAT TROUBLE! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THAT." AND HE THREW THE SANDWICH--WRAPPED TO GO--ON THE COUNTER, COUNTED THE BOY'S MONEY LOUDLY AND THEN SAID: "OK. THANK YOU FOR YOUR BUSINESS. COME BACK SOME TIME." AND SHOOED HIM OUT. THEN HE LOOKED AT THE RAIN FOR AWHILE. COMING DOWN LIKE A REGULAR SHEET AND THEN BACK AT THE DELI. EMPTY. DESERTED. HE SEEMED TO THINK LOUDLY: "WHY THE HELL DO WE HAVE ALL THESE SEATS IF NO ONE STAYS!" AND IT WAS TRUE. THE DESSERTS WERE PRETTY OLD. SOME WE WERE WEEKS OLD EVEN. HE GOT TO THINKING. THE ONLY REASON HE DIDN'T OFFER COFFEE ORIGINALLY WAS BECAUSE THOSE MACHINES ARE EXPENSIVE. AND IT DIDN'T MAKE SENSE--WHY SERVE COFFEE WITH A CAFE JUST ACROSS THE STREET? AND THEN IT BECAME OUT OF LOYALTY TOWARD THE HOYTES. COFFEE WAS HOYTE'S THING. HE'S FRIEND. HIS FRIEND WITH THE CAFE. BUT HE GOT TO THINKING THAT HOYTE'S THING WAS REALLY THE INTERNET. THE WIRELESS INTERNET. THE COFFEE WAS JUST LIKE A FRONT FOR THE INTERNET. IT WASN'T LIKE HE TOOK PRIDE IN THE COFFEE, REALLY. HE ALWAYS TOOK PRIDE IN THE WIRELESS INTERNET. THERE WAS MORE SIGNAGE ABOUT THE WIRELESS INTERNET IN THE PLACE THAN THE DAMN COFFEE. THERE WAS EVEN A BIG LED LIGHT DISPLAY ADVERTISING IT.
GOLDMAN WAS THINKING THAT HE COULD MAYBE BOLSTER HIS BUSINESS WITH THE COFFEE. EVENTUALLY THE COFFEE MIGHT MAKE IT SO HE AND EMILY COULD MOVE OUT FROM ABOVE THE DELI AND GET A HOUSE CLOSE TO THE HOYTES. MAYBE EVEN GET EMILY A HORSE SO SHE COULD RIDE OVER TO MINDIE INSTEAD OF ALWAYS HAVING TO BORROW ONE OF HER HORSES. IT WOULDN'T TAKE ANY BUSINESS AWAY FROM HOYTE. IT WOULD JUST BOLSTER HIS OWN BUSINESS. THEY WOULD JUST STAY FOR LONGER AND BUY MORE FROM HIM. NOT LESS FROM HOYTE.
SO HE MADE HOYTE A CORNED BEEF SPECIAL WITH SWISS AND EXTRA LEAN CORNED BEEF LIKE HOYTE NEEDED FOR HIS HEART. REALLY SCULPTED THE SANDWICH. CUT THE CORNED BEEF AS THIN AS POSSIBLE AND WRAPPED IT IN FOUR LAYERS OF WAX PAPER. THEN HE GOT A DR. BROWN'S CREAM SODA AND SOME OLD BAY CHIPS AND WALKED ACROSS THE STREET TO COWBOY COFFEE.
SOMEONE HAD TURNED ON STICKY FINGERS AT A LOW VOLUME AND THE HUM OF BUSINESS TALK SLID AROUND THE TAPPING OF KEYS. SOMETHING ABOUT THE PLACE MADE GOLDMAN UNCOMFORTABLE. HE KNEW MOST OF THE PEOPLE BUT PRETENDED NOT TO AND MADE A LINE STRAIGHT FOR HOYTE'S OFFICE.
HOYTE WAS TYPING AT HIS COMPUTER WHEN GOLDMAN STEPPED IN.
"GOLDMAN BUDDY! GREAT TO SEE YOU BROTHER. HOW ARE YOU?"
"YEAH. YOU KNOW, LIKEWISE. AHH--GOOD. I BROUGHT YOU SOME FOOD."
"O MAN. STARVED. I AM JUST STARVED. COME ON SIT DOWN. SIT DOWN." GOLDMAN HANDED HIM THE BROWN BAG. HE PEERED INSIDE: "THIS. THIS LOOKS REALLY SPECIAL."
"YEAH. HEY I DON'T WANT TO BOTHER YOU. YOU WERE TYPING. I WAS WONDERING IF I MIGHT BORROW A COMPUTER AND USE THE INTERNET HERE. YOU KNOW. USE THE INTERNET. DRINK SOME COFFEE."
"YEAH--YEAH. SURE THING, GOLDMAN. MY INTERNET IS YOUR INTERNET. JUST TELL JANE TO GIVE YOU YOUR FAVORITE. HERE TAKE THIS." HOYTE REACHED INTO HIS DESK HOLDING A NAPKIN IN THE OTHER HAND AND GAVE GOLDMAN A WHITE MACBOOK. "I'M TELLING YOU BROTHER. YOU'VE GOTTA GET A COMPUTER. I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU DO ALL THIS WITHOUT ONE." HIS GOATEE BOBBED WITH A LITTLE SLAW.
GOLDMAN CHUCKLED. "HAH. WELL--ALWAYS HAVE, YOU KNOW."
HE ORDERED A BLACK COFFEE FROM WHO HE FIGURED TO BE JANE AND WAITED FOR A FREE TABLE. SITTING DOWN HE OPENED THE LAPTOP THEN HE CLICKED ON THE BLUE E AND WENT TO "www.google.com" AND TYPED "coffee machine" AND PURCHASED THE FIRST ONE WITHOUT EVEN CHECKING THE PRICE.
WHEN IT ARRIVED HE LOOKED AT THE PARCEL FOR A LONG TIME. EMILY WALKED INTO THE OFFICE IN THE BACK OF THE DELI.
"WHAT'S IN THAT BOX THAT'S SO BIG?"
"IT'S A COFFEE MACHINE." SHE JUST LOOKED AT HIM AND THEN WALKED AWAY DOWN THE KITCHEN SHAKING HER HEAD AND MUMBLING SOMETHING ABOUT ERIC.
AT FIRST HE DIDN'T TELL ANYBODY THAT HE HAD A COFFEE MACHINE. AND HE DIDN'T DISPLAY IT EITHER. HE WOULD WAIT UNTIL SOMEONE ASKED HIM FOR COFFEE. IT'S NOT LIKE HE WAS GOING TO UPDATE THE MENU. THAT WOULD BE TRULY RIDICULOUS. AND EXPENSIVE. JUST WAIT UNTIL SOMEONE ASKS. IT WAS KIND OF A RELIEF THE WHOLE DAY THAT NO ONE INQUIRED ABOUT COFFEE AND THEN AT 7:30 A COUPLE AROUND THE GOLDMAN'S AGE CAME INTO THE DELI LAUGHING.
THE MAN SAID WITH A THICK NEW ENGLAND ACCENT: "AY I'LL HAVE A CAFFY AND AHH--A PIECE OF THIS CAKE. PLEASE." HE LOOKED AT HIS WIFE. "AY AHH--BETTAH MAKE THAT TWO."
GOLDMAN CUT THE PIECES OF APPLE CAKE VERY SLOWLY AND THEN POURED THE COFFEE VERY SLOWLY AND WALKED IT OVER TO THE TABLE BY THE WINDOW WHERE THE NEW ENGLANDER'S SAT. HE WASN'T SHAKING THOUGH HE FELT LIKE HE COULD START DOING SO AT ANY MOMENT.
"CAKE. AND COFFEE. ENJOY."
HE WALKED BEHIND THE COUNTER AND PRETENDED TO BUSY HIS HANDS WHILE THE COUPLE ATE AND DRANK BUT REALLY HE JUST WATCHED THEM. THEY WERE GIGGLING. AND WHEN THEY SIGHED THERE WAS HOPE IN IT. THEY SEEMED ENERGETIC AND READY. THEN THE MAN LOOKED AT GOLDMAN WHO QUICKLY ADVERTED HIS EYES. "AY--YOU AHH--GIVE REFILLS ON THE JOE?"
GOLDMAN SAID "YES! YES WE DO" WITHOUT EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT. AND THEN WALKED OVER AND REFILLED THEIR COFFEE WITHOUT EVEN THINKING ABOUT IT AND THEN WALKED OVER BEHIND THE COUNTER AGAIN AND STARTED THINKING ABOUT IT. HE THOUGHT: "WELL--WHY NOT? I DON'T MAKE ANYTHING ON THE COFFEE ANYWAY. IT'S THE DESSERTS. THEY'LL STAY LONGER AND BUY MORE STUFF. WHY NOT?" THEN THE WOMAN CALLED TO GOLDMAN: "DO YOU THINK I COULD GET A SLICE OF THAT CAKE TO GO, DEEH?"
GOLDMAN FELL ASLEEP THAT NIGHT HAPPILY. HIS PLAN SEEMED TO WORK. THE COFFEE WAS OK. THE BUSINESS WAS OK.
THINGS WENT ALONG LIKE THAT FOR A WHILE. GOLDMAN WAS DOING FINE. PEOPLE STARTED ENJOYING HIS DESSERTS. THEY WERE SO POPULAR THAT HE HAD TO GET EMILY INVOLVED. SHE BEGAN TO BAKE EXTRA DESSERTS FOR WHEN THEY RAN OUT BEFORE THEIR BAKERY COULD RESTOCK THEM. AND THOSE WERE SO POPULAR THAT EVENTUALLY THEY STOPPED BUYING THEIR DESSERTS FROM THE BAKERY ALL TOGETHER AND EMILY STARTED MAKING ALL OF THEM. THEY WERE DAMN FINE. PEOPLE WERE STAYING IN THE DELI ALL NIGHT. SOMETIMES GOLDMAN HAD TO STAY OPEN UNTIL 12 O'CLOCK.
AND THEN APRIL HAPPENED. AND THE YANKEES CAME UP FROM FLORIDA AND STARTED TO REAR THEIR UGLY HEADS. GOLDMAN GOT A CALL FROM HOYTE WHO WAS ACROSS THE STREET: "HEY GOLDMAN, HOW ARE YOU BROTHER?"
"O--I'M FINE. HOW'S THE COFFEE?" HE INSTANTLY REGRETTED ASKING THAT.
"THE COFFEE? O YOU KNOW. THE COFFEE'S FINE. HEY YOU KNOW WHAT'S OVER RIGHT? AND WHAT'S JUST ABOUT TO BEGIN? WHY DON'T YOU AND EMILY COME OVER TO THE HOUSE TO WATCH THE OPENER? IT'S AGAINST THE SOX--THOSE BASTARDS. SHOULD BE GOOD."
"O--YEAH. YEAH. THE OPENER. YEAH. YEAH. WE'LL--AHH. YES. YEAH. WE WILL BE OVER FOR THAT."
"OK. YEAH. OK THAT SOUNDS GOOD. THURSDAY?"
"THURSDAY. YEAH."
"ALL RIGHT. SEE YOU THEN! TAKE CARE."
TWO CUSTOMERS CAME IN AND GOLDMAN KNEW WHAT THEY WANTED RIGHT AWAY. HE'D SEEN THEM A FEW TIMES. THE APPLE CAKE AND THE COFFEE.
GOLDMAN AND EMILY DROVE OUT THE HOYTE'S ON THURSDAY. EMILY TALKED THE WHOLE RIDE ABOUT BAKER'S GEOMETRY AND HOW SHOULD COULD DO IT IN HER HEAD NOW. GOLDMAN DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANT BUT HE DIDN'T ASK HER ABOUT IT. THE WHOLE TIME HE WAS THINKING: "O GOD. WHY DID YOU WEAR A TIE? THIS THING IS SO TIGHT IT'S MAKING ME SWEAT DAMMIT. O BROTHER."
THEY ARRIVED AT THE THREE STORY HOUSE WITH THE HILL IN THE YARD AND THREE CARS AND GOT OUT WITH THE WINE. GOLDMAN RANG THE BELL AND ADJUSTED HIS TIE. HOYTE OPENED THE DOOR WEARING A GRAND CANYON T-SHIRT AND AN ADJUSTABLE YANKEE'S HAT. "GOLDMAN! EMILY! IT'S BEEN AGES. COME IN."
FROM THE KITCHEN MINDIE CALLED: "IS THAT THE GOLDMAN'S! O EMILY, DEAR, COME HERE. IT'S BEEN AGES." EMILY PASSED THE BOTTLE TO GOLDMAN AND SCOOTED SILENTLY TOWARD THE KITCHEN. HOYTE CLOSED THE DOOR AND ASKED IN A WHISPER, CRANING HIS NECK: "HEY GOLDMAN. WHAT'S WITH THE TIE?"
THEY WATCHED THE GAME ON THE BIG TV SITTING ON THE DARK BLUE COUCH THAT SEEMED TO SWALLOW THEM. IT'S HUNGER MADE GOLDMAN'S TIE SEEM EVEN MORE RIDICULOUS. AFTER THE YANKEE'S LOST THEY SAT DOWN TO DINNER. BEEFSTEAKS WITH SCALLOPED POTATOES AND SALAD. LOCAL RED WINE. MINDIE ASKED ACROSS THE TABLE: "SO EMILY. WE HAVEN'T BEEN RIDING IN SO LONG. WHY IS THAT? YOU HAVEN'T GOT A NEW PARTNER HAVE YOU? I MIGHT GET JEALOUS." IT WASN'T STRICTLY A JOKE.
"O. JEEZ. WELL IVE BEEN SO BUSY AT THE DELI. YOU KNOW ALL THE DESSERTS AND EVERYTHING. IT'S REALLY BEEN TAKING UP MY TIME." GOLDMAN NEARLY HURLED HIS BODY ACROSS THE TABLE, OUT THE WINDOW, OVER THE HILLS AND INTO THE COLORADO. BUT REALLY HE JUST SAT THERE WITH THE TIE.
"DESSERTS?" MINDIE ASKED. "WELL I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE MAKING DESSERTS FOR THE DELI. THAT SOUNDS GREAT! I'D LOVE TO TRY THEM. I BET THEIR JUST GREAT."
HOYTE SPOKE, EXTENDING HIS HAND FOR MINDIE'S: "I WOULD LOVE TO TRY THEM TOO. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE MAKING DESSERTS EITHER. WE'LL STOP BY THE DELI TOMORROW AND TRY THEM. TOGETHER." AND HIS GOATEE DID THE SAME SMILE.
THAT NIGHT GOLDMAN COULDN'T SLEEP. HE JUST TOSSED AND TURNED. EMILY ROLLED OVER: "HAROLD. WHAT'S WRONG? WHY CAN'T YOU SLEEP?"
"IT'S THOSE DAMMED--RED SOX. I CAN'T BELIEVE WE LOST TODAY!" THERE WAS VIOLENCE IN HIS VOICE.
"HAROLD HAROLD, DARLING. CALM DOWN. THERE'S A HUNDRED SIXTY MORE GAMES. GO TO BED, DEAR."
BUT HE COULDN'T SLEEP. HE WAS DOG TIRED THE NEXT DAY AT THE DELI. BUT HE COULDN'T GET HIMSELF TO DRINK THE COFFEE EITHER. HE MUST HAVE BROKE 5 DISHES AND BURNT TWO BATCHES OF FRIES BY 3 O'CLOCK.
3 O'CLOCK, DEAD TIME. NO ONE EVER IN THE DELI THEN. BUT THE DOOR CHIMED AND THERE WAS HOYTE AND MINDIE, HAND IN HAND, SMILING.
"HEY THERE GOLDMAN. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?"
"O--O--YOU KNOW. WELL...I AM VERY WELL."
"WHERE'S EMILY?"
EMILY CALLED FROM THE KITCHEN, WHERE THE OVENS WERE: "IS THAT THE HOYTES? MINDIE COME ON BACK OVER HERE. I WANT TO SHOW YOU THIS." MINDIE GAVE THEM A KNOWING SMILE AND THEN WALKED TO THE KITCHEN.
"SO--EMILY. QUITE THE BAKER?"
"AHH--WELL--YOU KNOW. SHE LIKES IT. IT WAS HER IDEA. YOU KNOW. SOMETHING TO DO DURING THE DAYS AND WHATNOT. YOU KNOW."
"YEAH--WELL--I'M EXCITED NONETHELESS. HEY GOLDMAN--I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU." GOLDMAN FELT ALL TIGHT INSIDE.
"YES?'
"HEY--ARE YOU DOING ALL RIGHT. YOU SEEM. I DON'T KNOW. TENSE. EVEN FOR YOU."
"O--WELL--YOU KNOW THE YANKS AREN'T HELPING ANY."
"RIGHT. HM. WELL. YOU KNOW--JUST LET ME KNOW IF I CAN HELP."
"LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE!" MINDIE CALLED OUT, HELPING EMILY CARRY A LARGE PLATE OF CINNAMON RAISIN MANDELBREAD. HOYTE SMILED AND GOLDMAN TURNED AROUND AND THEN HEARD THE DOOR CHIME OPEN. HE TURNED TO SEE TWO NEW ENGLANDERS COMING INTO THE DELI WITH EXPECTANT FEATURES. HE SAID "O NO" OUT LOUD AND FELT HIS THROAT SEIZE UP AND THEN A PRESSURE IN THE TOP OF HIS SKULL AND THEN SOMETHING LIKE A BLACK LIGHT AND THEN HEARD A CRASH AND TOTAL BLACK.
EMILY WAS YELLING. THE NEW ENGLAND MAN WAS STANDING OVER GOLDMAN: "ALL RIGHT STAND BACK. IT'S HIS HAHT--I KNOW WHAT I'M DOIN EHR." AND LOWERED HIS FACE, PINCHING GOLDMAN'S NOSE, PRESSING HIS MOUTH ON GOLDMAN'S MOUTH, BREATHING IN VERY HARD. GOLDMAN'S EYE'S BULGED AND HE GRABBED AT HIS THROAT.
HOYTE GRABBED THE MAN'S SHOULDERS. "IT'S NOT HIS HEART, YOU IDIOT! IT'S HIS ASTHMA. EMILY--WHERE'S HIS INHALER!"
"O JEEZ! I DON'T KNOW. HE NEVER KEEPS IT!"
"DO YOU HAVE ANY DRINKS WITH A LOT OF CAFFEINE. REDBULL? TEA? COFFEE?"
"O! YES! WE HAVE COFFEE! I'LL GET THE COFFEE! O NO!" SHE RAN TO WHERE THE COFFEE MACHINE WAS HIDDEN BENEATH THE COUNTER AND GRABBED THE WHOLE POT. SHE RAN WITH IT, SPILLING IT--SCALDING AND BLACK ALL OVER THE FLOOR. THEN CROUCHED DOWN AND WAS ABOUT TO SIMPLY THROW IT ON GOLDMAN'S FACE WHEN MINDIE GRABBED HER SHOULDER'S AND PRESENTED A BOWL OF ICE.
"HERE. LET ME POUR IT IN HERE." MINDIE GRABBED THE POT AND POURED THE REST INTO THE BOWL AND HELD IT TO GOLDMAN'S MOUTH. "DRINK THIS. SLOWLY. THE CAFFEINE WILL RELAX YOUR LUNGS." HE TOOK BIG GULPS THOUGH. IT RAINED DOWN HIS WHITE APRON LIKE MOTOR OIL. AND EVENTUALLY HE COULD BREATHE AGAIN.
GOLDMAN LAY ON THE FLOOR WITH HIS LEGS AND ARMS SPLAYED OUT, HEAD ON THE GROUND LOOKING AT THE CEILING FAN WAVE AT HIM. "HERE" MINDIE SAID "BEND YOUR KNEES VERTICALLY. UPWARD. IT'LL HELP YOU BREATHE SOME." AND HE DID IT. AND IT DID.
"HOYTE." HE MUMBLED. "HOYTE. I'M SORRY."
HOYTE BENT DOWN QUICKLY ON A KNEE. "WHAT'S THAT BROTHER?"
"I SAID, I SAID: 'HOYTE. I'M SORRY.' THE COFFEE. I NEVER SHOULD HAVE WITH THE COFFEE."
"GOLDMAN. YOU NEEDED THE COFFEE. YOU'D BE DEAD OTHERWISE. JUST BREATHE. YOU'RE OKAY NOW."
"NO--HOYTE. YOU DON'T GET IT. THE COFFEE. I SELL COFFEE. I'M SORRY."
"WELL--WHAT DO YOU MEAN? YOU OWN A DELI. OF COURSE YOU SELL COFFEE. WHO THE HELL EVER HEARD OF A DELI THAT DOESN'T SELL COFFEE?"
BUT GOLDMAN HAD PASSED OUT WITH THE COFFEE MESS ALL AROUND HIM. THE WEIGHT WAS GONE AND THE DESERT AIR DRY.
--JULY2X11--
2 comments:
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